The mistakes we make

So after feeling good about myself, regarding the path I am on, I had to take a step back and bring myself realize that the mistakes I will make along this journey of "my" weight loss are only to make me better & stronger.

I haven't worked out in two day, and although I feel bad about it....I didn't workout more because I've been sick and in the morning, I feel stuffy and achy. So this is the mistake I made...."well I'm not working out...I must be off my diet, let me eat whatever anyway" mistake one. Mistake two "I woke up late, got to work late, people asked me to go to a restaurant for lunch where I am not sure of the calorie content, nor what to get within my budget calories, and I went." Mistake three "I still haven't prepared myself for my lifestyle change so don't have my proper weapons against hunger."

All these lessons have resulted in one thing, I still have a lot of work to do, and a long way to go. That cool though, at least I am realizing it now before I get to far into the weight game and get frustrated because I haven't loss any weight!

5 weeks strong

We started this site five weeks ago to help us with our weight loss. It took be 29 days to get my fat ass out of bed and workout. Three weeks later I can honestly say it feels good! Getting out of bed is still hard, but at least now I am doing it. I still struggle with my fat self from time to time, and at times I give in to her. I think I should though. This is tough for her and I shouldn't take everything away from her at once. She's been a trooper too. As much was she wants that five guys burger with extra grilled onions, extra cheese and ketchup and mustard on it. She hasn't bug me much lately about it. She did though have to have something sweet over the weekend, so I gave her a spoonfull of icing, no cake.

It takes time, and five weeks later I can honestly say I am on the right track. It's hard, and will continue to be hard, but we will make it......all three of us; fat-skinny-and me!

Necole

AND THE FIGHT CONTINUES!

I have worked out four days this week....this morning was HARD! Really HARD, but I did it. I got up laid around thought about going back to bed but then got on the treadmill and decided I wouldn't workout hard today. And now, NOW I HAVE AN ATTITUDE! not really sure why though, was it because I am sore now, cause I really just wanted to sleep but needed to workout, or was I really upset at myself for getting to the point where I have to workout everyday in order to help myself achieve this goal. I can't wait for the day where I am in maintenance mode! Until that day....TODAY I am going to have an attitude....at least until I realize the fact that skinny girl won, and skinny girl made fat girl get up and workout. So, fat girl is really the one with the attitude, not me.

1. What are you really hungry for?
When my life is out of control and unbalance I know I seek some way of gaining the control back....or gaining control. So I guess I hunger for control.
2. Why are you overweight?
When I am lost I find it liberating to eat whatever I want and dare someone to say something to me. I over eat in comfort and I snack for company. I love the taste of good sweet foods, and it makes me feel good when I eat it. I honestly feel at peace when I eat ice cream and cookies, or apple pie and ice cream.
3. Why have you been unable to maintain weight loss in the past?
I haven't figured out how to ask for help when my life is out of control, I hide when my life is unbalance and I put a wall up and wont let anyone in, or see me. I HIDE BIG TIME! and that's the honest to God truth.
4. What in your life is not working?
I have to stay busy doing positive things, working, hanging with family and friends.
5. Why do you want to lose weight?
Because it's time, because I want to be healthy, because I want to have a family, and because I want to be around for my friends and family.

It's A New Day

I just finished watching Oprah and I encourage you to start you weight loss goals and answer the following 5 questions, HONESTLY.

1. What are you really hungry for?
2. Why are you overweight?
3. Why have you been unable to maintain weight loss in the past?
4. What in your life is not working?
5. Why do you want to lose weight?

Oprah also said the most profound thing today..it is not a weight issue it is a love issue. Whether you have lost a love, want a love, self love, lack of love...it is a love issue.

One day at a time ladies.

2009

Like a ray of light 2009 shines clear and bright. The time has come for me to be true to msyelf and realize my self worth. When I over eat and don't take care of myself I am telling myself I'm not worth it. When I don't exercise I am telling myself I donn't love you enough to take 50 mins out of my day for you. When I don't try to change, I've told myself, I've given up on you....your not worth it anymore.

I don't want to divorce (from myself). I thought I did, but I really don't. I do love you Necole and I will work very hard to make this relationship work between the two of us. Now that's what 2009 brought for me. I know loosing weight isn't easy and I know I, at times, will get frustrated and upset, it's at those times that I will need you be to be the strongest for me. I am willing to do that.

This blog may confuse some folks, and that's fine. I understand the struggle I have between my skinny self and my fat self. For once though I am going to allow my skinny self to speak and this time I am going to listen!