Commitment

This is such a powerful word, and if used correctly can move a mountain. I have said time and time again I am committed to myself, my health, and my weight loss, but I start over and over and over all the time. I know the skinny girl is in there. I know she is ready to come out and play. She has been hidden for so long and I think I had gotten to the point where I really didn't know how to release her. I buried her when I buried my feelings.

I haven't always been this way. When I was younger, I got something from food. I got comfort and joy. Now I get cellulite, and fat! When I was younger it got me attention, cause folks would be like, you can eat all that, or that lil girl is going to eat all that. It was almost like I had achieve something. Now I know I can't eat all that, but still try to, and sweets, boy o boy, sweets are my best friend!

Which leads me to commitment. I once was committed to how I looked and making sure I didn't go over a certain weight. So now I need to recommit myself. God help me to find my commitment again!

A tribute to MJ

They say Michael Jackson was the King of Pop because he was the greatest that ever lived. Was he really the greatest, or did he work harder then the average?.......and if working harder then the average makes you the greatest, why can't we apply this to our own lives. MJ told us to look at the man in the mirror to make a change. It does me no good to know what I am doing wrong, if I am not going to change what I am doing wrong. You are held accountable once you have been educated. MJ might not of done everything right, but then again who does, but what he did do was worked harder then average to reach his goals, and once he met them he raised them. He was willing to scrafice at all cost and he did-but he was the best!

It's time to raise the bar.......I have been blogging for seven months now. I have been ready and will do what I am suppose to do for a lil while and then stop. It's time to rise above average and be the best no matter what has to be scraficed. NO MATTER WHAT!

Say what you will do, do what you will say!

If you say you love yourself, show it by taking care of yourself. If you think you are the best, show your appreciation by taking care of yourself. If you take care of yourself, you give more.

I've been at this for seven whole months, and while most say I haven't lost a pound, I know I've lost more then physical weight. December will mark a year for this blog, and what I am most proud of is that I've never given up. Since I haven't I know I will make my goal. December 2009 is mine. You can mark my word on that......I will be at a better weight then I was last year.

I love the freedom of choice!

Determination

Abdominal Fat is Heart Attack Fat, so sometimes determination means you have to be a bitch!

Misery likes company, or two's a company three's a crowd. When you change, not everyone will be on board, will care to understand, or even happy for you. Bottom line, not everyone will like it! You may take too long ordering your food at restaurants, cause you need to find out what's in it, take something out, or plan your calories intake for that meal. You may cut your meal in half, stop at one drink, or even one plate. Eat your favorite dessert one day while choosing not to eat a 2nd favorite the next.

What I have learned is that its ok.....Because sometimes you have to be a determined BITCH to save your life!

Breaking Point!

You can add but so much onto your plate, until one day it will break.......


I have gotten to my breaking point. You know that spot where I can't take it any longer, and if I don't do something now, I will die-meet!

This may be the most personal entry ever but like I told you back in Dec, I was going to put is out there for the world to see and this time I'm not hiding anything.

Emotionally, I am not well. I sleep cause I am tired, and I am tired cause I am not taking care of myself. As much as I want to be "in control" I have found myself in a place where I am "out of control." It was fun at first to talk about my weight, laugh, joke, even make fun of; all those things, but then you enter onto another zone; the danger zone!

It's time to step up my game. I am not putting my best foot forward. I am not making my best effort. I know this because I like control and a person who likes to take control would never let themselves be out of control unless they have lost control. When you do everything possible to do your best you know it, you feel it and it shows.

I have not....and I no longer will allow myself to not do my best.

When you are determined enough you do whatever it takes to get the job done; and I mean whatever it takes! Determination.......that's what we are going to start focusing on now.......

No more Black and white........

Well I did it again, I had another successful week! Of course success is in the eyes of the beholder, but for the first time, maybe in a long time maybe ever, I didn't over commit myself, over indulge, or feel guilty for what I didn't have control over. Now I did eat late at night, which I knew when I did it it was wrong. but I had control over that and I chose to do it anyway. I did go to celebrations where there was bread, cake, etc. and I ate all those things, but I had one plate, half of cup cake, and lil alcohol. All of which I had control over.

This is where I am in my walk....I a not doing the all or none anymore. It doesn't work for me....I am learning what gray looks like, what is means, and how to live in that moment. Black and white has never worked for me long term so why continue down that path!

I've lived to see another day, and for that I am thankful. For that I will continue to try and put myself and my health first! If I do this, I will make it to my goal.

The Journey of a thousand miles start with one foot in front of the other!

My mind's made up, and I'm not turning back......

You have to start somewhere right! Well I did it.....I started working out, I looked at different meal plans, and I have made up my mind up to do it right this time. I don't know how I am getting there, and I don't know how long it will take me. Really that's not my concern, the only goal I have is to keep it moving, one step at a time, one day at a time, one goal at a time.....and that's what I did today. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't long, nothing to brag about, nothing over the top; it was just-a start.....and that's all I asked of myself. I felt better today then I have in a long time....cause I just put one foot in front of the other, and I started walking.


What freedom, what power, what a journey this has and will be.....like I said, I am ready!