No more Black and white........

Well I did it again, I had another successful week! Of course success is in the eyes of the beholder, but for the first time, maybe in a long time maybe ever, I didn't over commit myself, over indulge, or feel guilty for what I didn't have control over. Now I did eat late at night, which I knew when I did it it was wrong. but I had control over that and I chose to do it anyway. I did go to celebrations where there was bread, cake, etc. and I ate all those things, but I had one plate, half of cup cake, and lil alcohol. All of which I had control over.

This is where I am in my walk....I a not doing the all or none anymore. It doesn't work for me....I am learning what gray looks like, what is means, and how to live in that moment. Black and white has never worked for me long term so why continue down that path!

I've lived to see another day, and for that I am thankful. For that I will continue to try and put myself and my health first! If I do this, I will make it to my goal.

The Journey of a thousand miles start with one foot in front of the other!

My mind's made up, and I'm not turning back......

You have to start somewhere right! Well I did it.....I started working out, I looked at different meal plans, and I have made up my mind up to do it right this time. I don't know how I am getting there, and I don't know how long it will take me. Really that's not my concern, the only goal I have is to keep it moving, one step at a time, one day at a time, one goal at a time.....and that's what I did today. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't long, nothing to brag about, nothing over the top; it was just-a start.....and that's all I asked of myself. I felt better today then I have in a long time....cause I just put one foot in front of the other, and I started walking.


What freedom, what power, what a journey this has and will be.....like I said, I am ready!

I'm singing in the rain TODAY!

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass......it's about learning how to dance in the rain!

I am learning how to live in the moment. I am going to live for today. I am over weight now, and all I can do is work on loosing the weight. It wont happen over night, and I can't say "when I loose weight I gonna....." No! I am not going to stop my life, til I loose weight! There's no need in getting down, I did it to myself. There's no need in hiding, I did it to myself. There's no need in making excuses, it is what it is. I am going to learn to dance, and sing my way to freedom. Today is my Monday, cause Monday never comes when your waiting on it to. So I start today, not Monday, not tomorrow, but today!

I got my "I" on you!

I am the one who controls what I put into my mouth, and how much. I am the one who has to put myself first, care for myself first, and love myself enough to do whatever it takes to be the healthiest I can be. Stop eating when I am full, one plate per meal, and make the meals fit for a petite queen.

Because this has been a mental journey for me, I have decided to stop fighting what I know would eventually have to face....the fear of my pain. I have come to realize I run and hide. I hide the pain, I hide the fear, and I hide the hurt I hide myself.......Now it's time to realize why.

Weight gain, weight it self, it's another form of hiding. When I see someone overweight, the first thing I think now is, what are they trying to hide? Where is the source of their pain under all that. We will never truly win until we let the light in. Like I said I am ready. More importantly I am ready to come out of hiding and to play again.

I've made up my mind!

I was watching Oprah last night, and she had Kristy Alley on her show. (of course it was DVR'd) They started talking about how they had fallen off the wagon, and how every time this happens they gain ten more pounds then the last time. So this got me to thinking. I have always been able to loose the weight, until now. But once I did, I would keep it off for a couple of months and then gain it back. I have always said this is a mind thing...a mental block...it's not about the weight loss it's about the emotional loss.....underlying issues that have haunted us that keeps us in the state of mind that we are in. We feel that the food, the junk, the not eating, the over eating, is some how going to magical make it all better, when really it makes it all worse

It's time...and I am ready to let it ALL go! I have made up my mind and I wont look back....I want to loose weight; emotional, physical, and not gain it back!

My mind is made up!

I WANT TO BE HEALTHY , I DON'T WANT TO GAIN IT BACK.....I WANT TO CONCUR THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!

I WANT........TO .......LOOSE.......THE WEIGHT!

Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




So let the games begin!